Everyone deals with all kinds of emotions, and one emotion that needs to be addressed is anger. It is one of the extreme emotions that can be either destructive or constructive. Okay, I know that some of you are confused as to why and how does it become the latter, but we’ll get to that part shortly. For many of you, it’s understandable that handling anger is one of the most difficult thing to do living a life. If it’s mishandled, anger can cause a great potential to hurt and threaten any kind of relationships. However, if you understand what anger really is about and how to deal with it, it can create a huge positive impact on yourself and everyone else. So now, I want to talk about the book that specifically illustrates anger, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy by Chip Ingram and Dr. Becca Johnson.
What did I learn from the book?
First of all, I am glad I found a book that gives me a godly perspective of anger. How? I realized that anger is just a secondary signal to let us know that we are either hurt, frustrated, or insecure. A lot of people assume that anger is a primary emotion that is caused by certain events happening, but it’s not. Let’s think of it this way, what if anger is an effect of some other kind of emotion? Someone becomes angry because he wants to hide his sadness. Or maybe someone is angry because they are frustrated at themselves? Many might want to hide their true feelings to protect themselves from embarrassment for pride and ego, and consequently they turn to anger to conceal these feelings. I thought this theory is very interesting, and worthwhile to learn so we can utilize this poisonous emotion to mend broken relationships. Refer to this page for a quick read on my previous post about the book.
There are many ways everyone deals with anger – mostly in a destructive way. To summarize, we can group them into three simple groups: spew out, leak out, or ignore it. You can probably vision how all are harmful, and may eventually destroy a tightly knitted family. This book then addresses a few corrective ways to help express anger that are useful, not harmful.
If I were to take one thing from the book, it would be “The Anger ABCDs”.A – Acknowledge the present anger B – Backtrack and search for the primary emotion behind anger C – Consider the cause of anger D – Determine the best way to deal with the anger
There is also a great bible verse that the book mentioned when dealing with anger:Be quick to hear; slow to speak; and slow to anger (James 1:19)
**Note that God isn’t stopping us from being angry. Instead, He warns us not to sin because of anger.
So, how’s the book?
Now, for this book review, to be honest, I was expecting a more emotional approach on the way it is written. Instead, this book is actually written in a very practical form on all aspects of anger – a very instructional, third person, lecturing tone. I completely understand that the author wants to be as rational as possible because of this highly sensitive topic, but it has become too informative that it’s impossible for you and I to retain every piece of information. Overall, I recommend this book to everyone who would own the book and flip through it from time to time, but maybe not to someone who simply wants a casual read.
What are some negative thoughts about this book?
Firstly, this book is written by two authors, Chip Ingram and Becca Johnson. Because of this, I find it a little annoying when the two authors keep alternating their parts in each chapter throughout the book. I understand that it is nice to have more than one person educating us, but sometimes it is quite interruptive. It seemed like the two authors wrote their parts separately and just “mashed” them together. However, the content of the book is indeed very valuable; I just didn’t like how the book doesn’t flow smoothly.
Secondly, the book is structured in a way that is like a textbook. At the end of each chapter, they list a quick recap on the main points and provided some activity questions. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad thing. But judging from the book cover, I thought it would be structured like any other self help book (ie. no recap points, no to-do lists, and etc.). It would be a really nice activity book to have if you want to lead a fellowship event or any kind of group activities, but not exactly the type of book to read on your own leisure.
Click here to purchase the book through Amazon. If you have any questions or comments about this book, please do so below!