As I was driving, I was pondering around the kinds of topic I should write about. I thought of the string of events that recently happened to me. These events acted as reminders of a lesson I’ve learned many years ago. They were reminders that taught me the cold hard truth about “Meet the Right Guy” goal. So, instead of bombarding you with a list of top 5 or top 10 recommendations on how to find the right man (which you’ll most likely forget), I want to introduce you to one significant concept that will change your view of relationships. It’s probably one of the concepts that isn’t really exposed to the society, so it might be mind-boggling at first. But, I guarantee that this can definitely impact your mindset, or even your expectations on relationships.
Advice from a respectful friend…
I was around 16 years old when I was first exposed to this “idea”. I was hanging out with a few girlfriends at the mall, chatting about dating and boys just like every other group of teenage girls. It wasn’t until one of them mentioned her conversation with another friend who was few years our senior that I thought this was probably the most productive conversation I ever had.
He said, “instead of finding Mr. Right, become the Mrs. Right“
Okay, you gotta remember that I was sixteen. When I first read this statement (their conversation was through texting), I had to read it over and over again until I finally understood what it is truly talking about. I admit, I was slow at understanding this. But, I couldn’t agree more with him! Even though this little “lesson” I learned wasn’t directed for me at the time, it definitely made a huge impact on me.
Society’s influence on us.
Society always expect us to keep finding that right person. Every time you encounter a relationship problem, your friends most likely evaluate your partner first rather than yourself. Of course, it’s natural for your friends to “judge” what he has done; after all, your friends know you a lot better than him (or her), and they are there to support you.
Usually, the conversation goes something like this…“OMG! Why did he do that?” “You can find a better man!”
If not, you might simply believe that you are destined to be with the man of your dreams and that you’ll meet him one day.
You might ask me this, what’s wrong with finding the right man?
Firstly, there is no relationship that is perfect in the real world. Even if it looked like there is one, you most likely didn’t get a chance to see all sides of that relationship.
Secondly, I believe that there is no couple in the world that God has “matchmade”. Why? This is my reasoning: even though God already knows your future, He has also given you the freedom to choose. If I can make a comparison, think about your freedom of choosing a career. Your career doesn’t define who you are and (usually) doesn’t affect your relationship with God. Ultimately, your goal on earth is not to find the love of your “earth” life, but to praise God, worship God, love Him, and love one another.
Thirdly, you are too focused on seeking the right person to be with without concentrating on improving yourself. Take a step back and think, who is going to be my Mr. Right’s Mrs. Right? How will my Mr. Right find his Mrs. Right? No man is going to be perfect for you. Even if he’s the one you’re looking for, ask yourself, are you the one he is looking for as well?
Please feel free to leave a comment below and share your thoughts with me. Enjoy and God bless! =)